"Is this you, sitting alone in an empty yard, wishing you had a gazebo, or a shed? If it is, then call Gary's Gazebos and Sheds, because here, we only do one thing: sell, install and service gazebos and sheds. … And ask about our bird baths."
Yes, only Peyton Manning could be responsible for those words being published on the Indianapolis Colts' website.
Manning, we learned within the past month, will not (yet) get back into a football career, but as we all learned Wednesday, his other career as an entertainer continues to thrive.
The legendary Colts quarterback was a guest star on ABC's "Modern Family," in which he played a character, "Coach Gary," that was tasked with helping Joe — the young son of main characters Jay and Gloria Pritchett (Ed O'Neill and Sofía Vergara) — in his Little League efforts.
"Your son's in good hands, Jay," Coach Gary says. "I led my team to the championship last year. We weren't supposed to keep score, but I did in my head."
At first, Jay thinks he's being replaced by Coach Gary, but ultimately we get to a scene in which Manning reveals his real motives, with Jay on the roof and Coach Gary standing on a ladder nearby:Coach Gary: Give me your hand.
Jay: Why? So you can show me up again?
Coach Gary: … What are you talking about?
Jay: Give it a rest. You come in here with your young shoulders, your ukulele …
Coach Gary: I'm not trying to show you up, Jay. I'm trying to impress you.
Jay: Why in the heck would you want to do that?
Coach Gary: I guess you could say that, like you, I'm stranded in my own way.
Jay: This is my least favorite way of talking.
Coach Gary: I've gotta tell you, Jay. I'm over the whole sports thing.
Jay: But you just won a championship?
Coach Gary: Exactly. And there's no more dragons to slay — that's the team we beat last year, the Baby Blue Dragons.
Jay: I'm not seeing how I figure into this.
Coach Gary: I want to start my own business. You've been so successful. I was thinking, maybe, you could be my mentor.
Jay: What line of work?
Coach Gary: Prefab gazebos.
Jay: Nice! Every back yard could it be its own town square.
Coach Gary: I knew you'd get it. After all, what's a gazebo but … (both together) an outdoor closet!
Jay: You're all right, Coach Gary. Give me your hand, help me down, we'll get a few drinks and we'll talk business. Gary's Gazebos. Gazebos By Gary. …
Coach Gary: Gary's Gazebos And Sheds.
Jay: You don't need me.————————
During the credits at the end of the show, they run Coach Gary's commercial from his gazebo (and sheds) business.
With all the various business ventures Manning has been successful with, I don't think many would be surprised if he actually began advertising for a gazebos and sheds joint. It's just random enough to work.
Anyway, one striking thing about Manning's appearance on "Modern Family" is how he's just grown into such a natural actor on camera. We knew this already after his awesome "Saturday Night Live" appearance years back, as well as numerous other cameos/commercials he's done over time.
I mean, we all remember how he delivered comic gold back in September in the "Comedy Central Roast Of Rob Lowe."
So whenever Manning decides to go back into football (if he does), he knows he'll likely have several suitors. But, for now, he seems just fine honing his acting skills.
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